"Chaos, Panic & Disorder .. my work here is done!"

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Patchouli livingroom & the dragons potential looms
though it surely will be the dragonfly that's convicted
Sooner or later it all blends into one vanilla anyway
And the cleverness continues
Out of my minds ear comes apples & oranges, plum pudding, pears & grapes ... what fucking ever
Just close your eyes & FLY - that's what it always comes down to
In this life, in the next & perhaps mostly inbetween
Content, content, I am content
No really, I AM
And oh so cleverly disguised
It's frightening, or frightful
Or just fucking scary
Join hands now & enter the spiral
And swing low sweet charriot
Bow down now or take a bow
Then move on
The street of sesame is lying now
Bottle caps in your eyes
And Dracula has lost his crown

A woman with long dark hair & pale skin in a white flowing dress walks confidently up the winding Manor Lane. Bare branched trees whipping in the storm. The fog softening them as they reach for me. Inviting me, beckoning me, welcoming me.

She turns her head and her eyes towards me. For a moment she is me. Still advancing - striding towards the Manor. But she is shifting, shape shifter. Not me, yet me. Shadow.

Calling to the Stags that rest on the hilltop in the wild grass overlooking the mighty winter ocean. Cold wind & rain blowing her long dark hair in a trail behind her. Nothing can stop her as she ascends. And I know we are one.

I happened upon these today.. some happy lyrics from one of my many journals that I wrote quite a few moons ago. You know, just to brighten your day, LOL!

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And the day I left everything slowed down.
I burnt my cape & I dropped my heavy crown.
Sat on my tired **** & I decided to write it down.
I tried like hell to plead insanity.

So this looks like another beginning.
The page doesn't care if I spill my guts.
When there's nothing left, then you might as well write it down.
And I'll cling like hell to my sincerity.

Burnt out & cast out day after day 
Convicted & evicted & sent on my way
How did it feel when you put me in my place?
All alone, All alone
So far from your world

And I heard every word you said.
They told me my new name, and stayed my friend.
When you make them lie, then you might as well shut it out.
And then cling like hell to your reality.

Burnt out & cast out, day after day.
Convicted & evicted & sent on my way.
How did it feel when you put me in my place?
All  alone, all alone.
So far from your world.

When you make them lie then you might as well shut it out.
And I'll scream like hell...

Burnt out & cast out day after day
Convicted & evicted, and sent on my way
How did it feel when you had me replaced?
All alone, all alone
So far from your world.

Didn't you hear? Nobody likes you.
Why does that make me like you more?
You took me for a ride, so I decided to ride it out.
And I'll cling like hell while so far from your world.

I guess I journal about Venice or more specifically the Pacific whenever I go there because it's a bit of a pilgrimage home for me. I grew up in LA & moved back to good old Long Island when I was 14 going on either 4 or 42, depending on my state of mind as I'm reflecting. I take a journey 'home' once a year now & find that my favorite place to start my visit is greeting my beloved old friend, the Pacific, specifically at Venice Beach because I did a lot of 'people watching' as a kid there with my 'surfer' friends Nelson, Patrick & Richard, who all went to 32nd Street USC Magnet School for the Performing Arts with me & my best friend Natalie. We'd sit on steps that are now poised for demolish to make room for super expensive condos. A very sad site to me for the last 2 years visits. (In fact, as a side note, last year our old friend Christy had to move out of her wonderful apartment, an upstairs one bedroom, hung with art of all kinds & many a flowering vine in the courtyard.... I'll never forget!)

Currently living down the road from the Atlantic, (sorry, that may sound a bit spoiled?) I've come to know both sides of America's coasts a bit. There are nuances unique to each to say the least. Anyone whose flown over either coast and paid attention to the shores will know what I mean. For example, leaving So Cal there were lighter waters, lighter skies reflecting on their waves, more boats below & generally more action. Even from the sky you get that California feeling. Yet there was also the peacefulness that only the ocean can bring. It is a living, breathing entity that I always marvel at & feel lucky to be able to embrace from such heights. Especially since I'm such a chicken **** in the water itself, lol! (This too I blame to the Pacific & Atlantic, but they are other stories!) 

Flying out over my beloved (here I want to add 'Eastern' & yet I am reminded it is only Eastern depending on which shore you are standing on!) Atlantica I am immediately taken by the immediate contrast & darkness of her surface. There seems to be a murkiness that makes me think of Brian Froud's web footed faery/frog, and an urge to dive into unknown mud overtakes me. But back to my original point! Since I learned how to swim on the Atlantic's shores, then journeyed West & spent many a blissful day making friends with little sand crabs, digging tunnels in banks & swimming in the shoreline waves of the Pacific, I feel a bond with both wonderful bodies of water - or at least their coasts - and have found that I know both by smell alone. And when I take my annual pilgrimage to the 'Western' shore I am immediately comforted by the crisp salty smell of my sweet old friend the Pacific. I know I am home.  My home town neighborhood of Echo Park is ever changing. The streets change, occupants, groceries & stores, my friends change, my memories even seem to change. But the almighty ocean stays the same & welcomes me with loving embrace over & over again. And as I said, I journey home & see the Atlantic & feel that frogginess. And when I go to my home on the Pacific I am greeted by little crabs. And as I've been writing tonight I realized something else pecular. I think of the Atlantic as female tonight - perhaps tonight only? And tonight I think of the Pacific as male. Perhaps at this moment I am feeling balanced, after many long years of feeling unbalanced between my too beloved homes. It's wonderful to think of both places in the now - at this sweet moment in time, with no regrets and perfect love. Neither are out of reach to me, both are gifts. And I will do my best to help keep the oceans as unchanging as possible. They have always been one thing I can count on.

"The true voyage of discovery lies not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes."

-Merlyn

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I've been seeking balance. I'm super sensitive to when things in my life feel out of whack. So I took some time to remind myself to keep my 'witch' eyes, as I like to call them, open. The response is always immediate and always positive. I love what I'm able to see - all the little signs point the way, like the wardrobe that leads to Narnia. You've always sensed it's presence, if you could only find the secret door. When you realize you always had the eyes to see it it is such a gift.

 To Narnia, with bells on!

Lazy Spring Morning